khaleesi:

I’ve thought about doing this for months and there’s still a part of me that’s uncomfortable with it, but I’m gonna be really candid with you guys.

I love my mother. I love my father. They divorced when I was four; my dad was injured on the job when I was less than a year old and cannot work. He gets by (barely) on social security. He made a work attempt when I was 12 and failed. He is basically on the poverty line. I cannot move in with him, and he cannot really help support me at all.

My mother is relatively financially secure, but we have … a very bad relationship in a lot of ways. Living with her is very, very bad for me. I was diagnosed with chronic depression when I was in middle school, and my mother is not at all compassionate about that when it comes to me. Living with her is toxic. When I went home for winter break, I was there for four weeks (two of which I spent interning in New York City, so it’s not even like I was around her very much) and hit one of the most damaging depressive lows I have in a long time. There were outside influences for this, but many of them are simply the facts surrounding my home life: I have no emotional support system there, nor any particular network to reach out for jobs, and my mother’s and my less-than-stellar relationship. I have tried telling her outright (as I have told my therapist and most of my friends) that I feel if I lived with her I would be suicidal within the space of six months, but she considers that melodramatic.

Right now, I am working two jobs (one writing freelance for a feminist nonprofit called SPARK, who do amazing work, and I am employed by my university and given a very small stipend) and the second one in particular is eating up a lot of my time. I am taking a full course load and writing a thesis and trying to find a third job that won’t make the rest of it next to impossible. I’m pretty sure - sort of - that I will be able to get a job in a few months to enter into come graduation, but right now I need help building enough of a cushion to get the fuck out of my mother’s house, because I do not want to be suicidal, okay. I’ve been there. I know enough about myself to know what will cause it. I don’t want to go back.

So there’s a Donate button on my blog. 

Look, I’ll be real with you - there are probably better places your money could go, and that’s a HUGE part of the reason I’ve been debating this for so long and I’m still not completely comfortable with it. Comparatively to other situations I’ve seen signal boosted around Tumblr, I feel like asking is presumptuous and wrong. I know rationally this isn’t necessarily true because gauging one situation of need against another is … really hard, and subjective, but dude! I don’t know! Asking for money sucks! And yet I am asking, because I DID MATH and if each of my followers gave me fifty cents, I would have $750, which would be enough to start.

So. That’s why there’s a Donate button on my blog. It CERTAINLY will not be there forever, but I need help.

Thank you so, so much, in advance, if you can help. 

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10. violeteyelids said: a thousand hugs and kisses from me to you, i know you’ll be able to work something out and i hope it happens soon. consider this donation a deposit for a future friend-date together :3
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13. candiedunicorns said: i only wish i could do more. <3
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